Well, there were many adventures during our Thanksgiving Holiday. For the sake of all our sanity let’s skip the details of the drive from Virginia to St. Louis, MO via Indianapolis to see family. Paul’s tolerance for the “mommy, mommy, mommy” from the backseat always seem to wear out about two minutes before mine did but he was doing all the driving so that’s ok.
We had a wonderful visit with family in Indianapolis and St. Louis and we actually did some new stuff in St. Louis even though I have been visiting there since childhood. We went to the City Museum for the first time and it was totally cool! It is a huge building (an old warehouse or factory) that has been completely redone on the inside with recycled materials from other factories that have been shut down. Apparently the builder/designer was collecting this stuff for decades! The stair spindles are old conveyor belt rollers and some of the newel posts are old acetylene welding tanks. There is a mass of rebar, tiled mosaic floors with dragons and turtles, tunnels and slides. The ceiling in one room is a wire mesh upon which shredded silk material has been sewn. There is a bank vault door, a human sized hamster wheel, and an indoor skate park. We did not even go into the aquarium or on the roof, there was too much to see in one day! Oh, and did I mention the indoor 10 story slide made from old chutes in a shoe factory? Awesome! I have added a new flicker bar on the right side of the blog and have included some of the better pictures.
One of the other highlights was a family gathering on Friday night before we left. One in which my husband and Chris, my cousin-in-law, spent the evening trying to get Chris’ four year old daughter to say, “Fork & Spoon”. Of course, since I have promised to spell things phonetically, it comes out “fokin spoon”, “fawkin spoon”, or even “fuckin spoon”. So every now and then you would hear one of the guys say, “hey Claire, what’s this?” while holding up the aforementioned cutlery. My friend Lisa and I have decided to name our first bar, “The Fork & Spoon” which would be right next door to our bakery, “That Place With the Stuff”.
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Friday, November 12, 2010
Stupid Criminal File
I have discovered that if nothing else, my son is a really bad liar and no where near a criminal mastermind.
After dinner last night, some of the kids were doing their reading homework while others were coloring at the table. I was in the laundry room right next to the table when I hear Sarah, “Awh, you’re gonna get in trouble, you got it on the tablecloth.”
Marty immediately denied with, “No I didn’t”. I turned slightly to see what was going on and there is my son; four years old, holding on to an orange marker and I see some orange on the tablecloth (vinyl, of course) between the two kids. Sighing heavily, I finished grabbing the clothes out of the dryer and come out to see what is going on.
Marty, still holding on to the orange marker, assures me that he “didn’t do it”. As I approach the table I can see that it is not just a line gone astray but something written on the tablecloth. I have to stare at it a moment and flatten out the tablecloth to read it. It read “martin dilick”.
Mr. 'I didn’t do it' wrote his own name and denies it with the marker still clutched in his hand. My son is either the worst criminal ever, or a future politician!
After dinner last night, some of the kids were doing their reading homework while others were coloring at the table. I was in the laundry room right next to the table when I hear Sarah, “Awh, you’re gonna get in trouble, you got it on the tablecloth.”
Marty immediately denied with, “No I didn’t”. I turned slightly to see what was going on and there is my son; four years old, holding on to an orange marker and I see some orange on the tablecloth (vinyl, of course) between the two kids. Sighing heavily, I finished grabbing the clothes out of the dryer and come out to see what is going on.
Marty, still holding on to the orange marker, assures me that he “didn’t do it”. As I approach the table I can see that it is not just a line gone astray but something written on the tablecloth. I have to stare at it a moment and flatten out the tablecloth to read it. It read “martin dilick”.
Mr. 'I didn’t do it' wrote his own name and denies it with the marker still clutched in his hand. My son is either the worst criminal ever, or a future politician!
Monday, October 11, 2010
Atta girl!
I am not sure how we got to this point in our dinner conversation on Saturday but Paul interjected a comment on how someone we were talking about was "hot". Sarah rolled her eyes and I believe may have even 'tsk'ed when she responded:
"Daddy, how could you possibly think another woman is hot when you are married to my mother!"
I may be paraphrasing slightly because I don't remember the exact words but you get the gist of it don't you?
I love my kids!
"Daddy, how could you possibly think another woman is hot when you are married to my mother!"
I may be paraphrasing slightly because I don't remember the exact words but you get the gist of it don't you?
I love my kids!
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Aaawww....
This is one for the tender hearted.
Mary woke up early on Monday and came into our room complaining of not feeling well. I knew that she was still getting over a cold so I told her to go back to bed for little bit and I would check her out when it was time to get up for school. She complained about a headache and a stomach ache but had no fever. I am really not one to keep the kids home for every sniffle, especially since both Paul and I work full time but I could tell that she really did not feel good. I tried to determine exactly how bad it was;
Me: Now Mary I need you to be honest with me because I cannot feel what is in your body, I can only see what it’s on the outside. You don’t have a temperature and you are not throwing up. How bad do you really feel?
Mary: Yeah, you can’t see what is going on inside because you are not in my body. Well, you are in my heart because I love you but that is different.
She said it totally honestly and was not just trying to sweet talk me which made it that much dearer to me.
Needless to say, she stayed home that day…
Mary woke up early on Monday and came into our room complaining of not feeling well. I knew that she was still getting over a cold so I told her to go back to bed for little bit and I would check her out when it was time to get up for school. She complained about a headache and a stomach ache but had no fever. I am really not one to keep the kids home for every sniffle, especially since both Paul and I work full time but I could tell that she really did not feel good. I tried to determine exactly how bad it was;
Me: Now Mary I need you to be honest with me because I cannot feel what is in your body, I can only see what it’s on the outside. You don’t have a temperature and you are not throwing up. How bad do you really feel?
Mary: Yeah, you can’t see what is going on inside because you are not in my body. Well, you are in my heart because I love you but that is different.
She said it totally honestly and was not just trying to sweet talk me which made it that much dearer to me.
Needless to say, she stayed home that day…
Monday, September 20, 2010
Here's the wind up...and the pitch
There are so many stories that simply take too long to set up for what ends up being a one-liner. Unless you set up the situation, it is just not as funny. In order to make this worth while, I am putting in a collection of one liners here...
1) This past weekend was my son’s fourth birthday. We were on our way to his party site when an impatient driver decided to take a short cut in the parking lot which put them in our lane and cut us off. My husband, being the full-on-red-blooded-American-male that he is could not resist commenting.
Paul: (Sarcastically) Oh, yeah sure, just come on over in my lane! Thanks a lot Jackass!
Marty: (Delightedly Surprised) You know his name Daddy!?
Paul: (Sheepishly) Yes, yes I do.
2) Just like every other kid in America, my children have started “hating” everything. It has become a pet peeve of mine and I keep explaining to them that hate is a very strong word and that they shouldn’t use it unless they REALLY mean it. After Paul played a prank on her, Sarah looked at her father and started to say, “I hate...” She was cut off with a look then after the slightest delay she continued with a raised eye brow and squinted eyes. She bore her eyes into her father and enunciated very carefully, “I strongly dislike you!”
3) During a recent road trip it was Marty’s turn to select the movie for the DVD system. I offered the suggestion of Pixar’s Cars because he hadn’t watched it in a long time. I was then informed that, “Mommy (sigh), when Daddy watches the races every weekend, I watch with him so don’t tell ME (complete with head bobble) that I don’t watch cars”.
4) This is an oldie but still one of my favorites. When Mary was only three or four years old we were driving to Pennsylvania and we passed by what I believe is a salt mine. There were various machines about as well as piles of rubble and sand. Mary looked over and asked, “What’s that Daddy?” Paul looked over and simply stated, “That’s a mine.” Mary then exclaimed excitedly, “That’s all yours Daddy?!”
To this day, when ever pass by that same mine on the way to visit family Paul and I still look at it and say, “Yep, datsa mine!” To make it even funnier on the way home from PA just a few weeks ago Marty looked out his window, saw the mine and asked, “What’s that Daddy?” Paul was very careful to answer in the same tone he had over four years before, “That’s a mine”. Then we held our breath…but no such luck.
1) This past weekend was my son’s fourth birthday. We were on our way to his party site when an impatient driver decided to take a short cut in the parking lot which put them in our lane and cut us off. My husband, being the full-on-red-blooded-American-male that he is could not resist commenting.
Paul: (Sarcastically) Oh, yeah sure, just come on over in my lane! Thanks a lot Jackass!
Marty: (Delightedly Surprised) You know his name Daddy!?
Paul: (Sheepishly) Yes, yes I do.
2) Just like every other kid in America, my children have started “hating” everything. It has become a pet peeve of mine and I keep explaining to them that hate is a very strong word and that they shouldn’t use it unless they REALLY mean it. After Paul played a prank on her, Sarah looked at her father and started to say, “I hate...” She was cut off with a look then after the slightest delay she continued with a raised eye brow and squinted eyes. She bore her eyes into her father and enunciated very carefully, “I strongly dislike you!”
3) During a recent road trip it was Marty’s turn to select the movie for the DVD system. I offered the suggestion of Pixar’s Cars because he hadn’t watched it in a long time. I was then informed that, “Mommy (sigh), when Daddy watches the races every weekend, I watch with him so don’t tell ME (complete with head bobble) that I don’t watch cars”.
4) This is an oldie but still one of my favorites. When Mary was only three or four years old we were driving to Pennsylvania and we passed by what I believe is a salt mine. There were various machines about as well as piles of rubble and sand. Mary looked over and asked, “What’s that Daddy?” Paul looked over and simply stated, “That’s a mine.” Mary then exclaimed excitedly, “That’s all yours Daddy?!”
To this day, when ever pass by that same mine on the way to visit family Paul and I still look at it and say, “Yep, datsa mine!” To make it even funnier on the way home from PA just a few weeks ago Marty looked out his window, saw the mine and asked, “What’s that Daddy?” Paul was very careful to answer in the same tone he had over four years before, “That’s a mine”. Then we held our breath…but no such luck.
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
It's not what you say; it's how you say it
Kids bicker, kids fight. Anyone who grew up with brothers and sisters know this. Now as a parent it is hard to have patience for the constant whining over what is mine or who touched what. I have always tried to teach my kids manners and a big part of this is how they talk to other people, so tone plays a big role. I constantly remind them that a snarky “fine” or “thanks” will not get them far.
Now my words have come back to me.
After work and school we had some time to play outside. Scooters, bikes and toys were brought out, helmets and pads were donned. Marty, who has no bike of his own, borrowed his sisters. Granted the image of my son riding down the sidewalk on a pink and purple bike with sparkly tassels was funny but the following conversation between Marty and Sarah was even better.
S: Marty! You didn't ask me to ride my bike!
M: Yeah, but you weren’t on it.
S: You still have to ask! (Can you tell by the exclamation points that she is yelling?)
M: Can I ride it since you are not it?
S: FINE!!!
A few moments later….
S: Moooommm tell Marty to give me the bike back, he didn’t ask!
Me: Yes he did, he asked when you yelled at him the first time and you said ‘fine’.
S: Yeah but I said it in a MEAN way which means I didn’t really want him to ride my bike!
The conversation ended with a six year old; eyes wide, mouth agape and the silent “Duh” look on her face. I may have been told that I ‘should have known’ this to which I would have responded if my powers of speech weren’t hampered by the stifling of laughter.
Now my words have come back to me.
After work and school we had some time to play outside. Scooters, bikes and toys were brought out, helmets and pads were donned. Marty, who has no bike of his own, borrowed his sisters. Granted the image of my son riding down the sidewalk on a pink and purple bike with sparkly tassels was funny but the following conversation between Marty and Sarah was even better.
S: Marty! You didn't ask me to ride my bike!
M: Yeah, but you weren’t on it.
S: You still have to ask! (Can you tell by the exclamation points that she is yelling?)
M: Can I ride it since you are not it?
S: FINE!!!
A few moments later….
S: Moooommm tell Marty to give me the bike back, he didn’t ask!
Me: Yes he did, he asked when you yelled at him the first time and you said ‘fine’.
S: Yeah but I said it in a MEAN way which means I didn’t really want him to ride my bike!
The conversation ended with a six year old; eyes wide, mouth agape and the silent “Duh” look on her face. I may have been told that I ‘should have known’ this to which I would have responded if my powers of speech weren’t hampered by the stifling of laughter.
Friday, August 13, 2010
The Ladies Man
I am a mother, I am biased and I know this, but my son is just about the cutest thing alive and one of the coolest dudes I know. Granted, he is not even four years old but I am betting he is going be loved by the ladies. How do I know this? There are the eyes, beautiful swirled green with dark lashes about a foot long. An easy laugh and great sense of humor and apparently he is already working on his pickup lines. The only thing that bothers me is that some of the stuff that comes out of his mouth just isn't appropriate (but funny) to say to one's mother.
For example: On a recent family trip we were at a relatives house and during a conversation, Marty started playing this game with me. He would lay on the floor in front of my chair and slide his hand up the leg of my pants. Not high, just at the ankle. I would pretend that something scary had just crawled on me and bat at his hand. Endless laughter and repetition ensued. After a few minutes, I was done with the game and told him so. He then looked at me, held up his legs and uttered: "Now you try to get in my pants!"
These become even funnier when you consider the history that Marty and I share with such things. I believe the first one was the most infamous.
Marty had been getting in trouble with his father for coming into our bed on weekend mornings and had been warned to stay in his own bed. Paul usually gets up before I do on the weekends so one morning, after he got up, I felt a small shift in the bed and opened my eyes. I was greeted by my son's darling face only inches from mine and he says: "I wait for him to leave so I could sleep wich you".
To make things worse, I believe it was winter time and I had been huddled under our down comforter all night. When his little hand touched my arm he looks at me and says: "You're hot!"
Like I said, somewhat unsettling, but FUNNY!
I know that I have not been posting much but I will try to make sure I get this stuff out there. If there is ever a lull, I can pull out some of the classics such as:
Ders poop onda florah
The Sean Connery incident
For example: On a recent family trip we were at a relatives house and during a conversation, Marty started playing this game with me. He would lay on the floor in front of my chair and slide his hand up the leg of my pants. Not high, just at the ankle. I would pretend that something scary had just crawled on me and bat at his hand. Endless laughter and repetition ensued. After a few minutes, I was done with the game and told him so. He then looked at me, held up his legs and uttered: "Now you try to get in my pants!"
These become even funnier when you consider the history that Marty and I share with such things. I believe the first one was the most infamous.
Marty had been getting in trouble with his father for coming into our bed on weekend mornings and had been warned to stay in his own bed. Paul usually gets up before I do on the weekends so one morning, after he got up, I felt a small shift in the bed and opened my eyes. I was greeted by my son's darling face only inches from mine and he says: "I wait for him to leave so I could sleep wich you".
To make things worse, I believe it was winter time and I had been huddled under our down comforter all night. When his little hand touched my arm he looks at me and says: "You're hot!"
Like I said, somewhat unsettling, but FUNNY!
I know that I have not been posting much but I will try to make sure I get this stuff out there. If there is ever a lull, I can pull out some of the classics such as:
Ders poop onda florah
The Sean Connery incident
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
The gas powered family
I knew even before having kids that kids think gas is funny. I remember thinking gas was funny. My husband still thinks gas is funny but I never thought it could be used as a parenting tool. I hope all of you reading this have already read my personal note and know that I realize this is not parenting at its best.
Trying to get the kids up in the morning can be a challenge especially when it is prior to 6 AM. One morning Sarah would simply not wake up. Paul crawled into her bunk and tried waking her but wiggles and "no"s were all we got. Paul sat silently for one moment and the said "wait for it", he repeated again "wait for it" and then passed gas. Sarah bolted out of bed with an exclamation regarding the smell after only a few seconds. Now when we need to get them moving, Dad just walks in and says "wait for it".
Works every time
In a related story, I was packing for a trip when Marty came in. I happen to be taking a break and was lying on the floor. He promptly plopped down on my stomach and leaned over to give me a kiss. The he started playing some odd game where he tries to keep his face directly in front of yours so you can't see anything else. Then all of a sudden he starts laughing and announced that he had tooted. Before I could ask for the proper response to such an action he started wiggling and squirming on my stomach.
"What are you doing?"
"I rub my toot on you!"
Yeah - thanks.
Trying to get the kids up in the morning can be a challenge especially when it is prior to 6 AM. One morning Sarah would simply not wake up. Paul crawled into her bunk and tried waking her but wiggles and "no"s were all we got. Paul sat silently for one moment and the said "wait for it", he repeated again "wait for it" and then passed gas. Sarah bolted out of bed with an exclamation regarding the smell after only a few seconds. Now when we need to get them moving, Dad just walks in and says "wait for it".
Works every time
In a related story, I was packing for a trip when Marty came in. I happen to be taking a break and was lying on the floor. He promptly plopped down on my stomach and leaned over to give me a kiss. The he started playing some odd game where he tries to keep his face directly in front of yours so you can't see anything else. Then all of a sudden he starts laughing and announced that he had tooted. Before I could ask for the proper response to such an action he started wiggling and squirming on my stomach.
"What are you doing?"
"I rub my toot on you!"
Yeah - thanks.
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Now that I have a blog, nothing funny happens...
This is my first blog, my inaugural post. How sad is it that as soon as I decided to start publishing these stories that my kids decided to start behaving.
I just wanted to write down a few quick ones from this past week.
All the kids spent five days at Grandma and Grandpa's house last week. While driving back home they were informing us of all the "field trips" they went on and what they did. Mary said the one thing she saw at a museum reminded her of her science lesson in school where they learned about "asses and bases". Um, sweetie, do you mean "acids and bases"?
Looking through one of my favorite catalogs recently where they sell very odd gifts, they were listing a set of pint glasses and I stopped to read the description. It was the Seven Deadly Sins pint glasses, sold in sets of eight.
If you don't get that, stop reading.
I just wanted to write down a few quick ones from this past week.
All the kids spent five days at Grandma and Grandpa's house last week. While driving back home they were informing us of all the "field trips" they went on and what they did. Mary said the one thing she saw at a museum reminded her of her science lesson in school where they learned about "asses and bases". Um, sweetie, do you mean "acids and bases"?
Looking through one of my favorite catalogs recently where they sell very odd gifts, they were listing a set of pint glasses and I stopped to read the description. It was the Seven Deadly Sins pint glasses, sold in sets of eight.
If you don't get that, stop reading.
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