Documentary, my dear Watson!

It was an easy night at home with no homework (yet), showers done and nothing else on the schedule. The kids were allowed to watch a little bit of their shows and then Paul wanted to pick something slightly more educational, just so their accomplishment for summer was not listed as “watched the entire series of ‘H2O, Just Add Water’ on Netflix”. We looked around and came across a documentary on Lewis and Clark. Mary started getting excited since she had learned about Lewis and Clark in school. Then Mary tried to tell Sarah all about it so that Sarah could get excited too. Sarah started slicing her arms through the air like a MBL umpire calling a runner safe at home.

“Mary!” she exclaimed. “I am on summer vacation! I am not supposed to learn anything new!”

Yeah, Paul and I lost it…

Crack is Whack!

We were playing with the kids last night before dinner and one of them had brought into our room an old stuffed bunny that had been mine as a child. Mr. Bunny is well worn but still has most of his stuffing. Marty was moving his ears at different angles like old TV antennae and talking to himself in sing-song.

Marty: Crap, Crap, Crappy head.

I looked at my husband to see if he heard the same thing I did.

Marty: Crap, Crap, Crappy head.
Me: Marty, what did you say?
Marty: Crap!
Me: Do you remember that we talked about that word and why we don’t use it? It is a nasty word for ‘poop’. Please don’t say it.
Marty: Well then what is the word for like something broken?
Me: You mean ‘cracked’?
Marty: Yeah! Crack, Crack, Crackhead. He is a Crackhead.

Maybe I should just leave well enough alone!

Lost in Translation

Marty and the girls were playing around in the living room while I cooked dinner the other night (yummy Chicken Marsala!) when everything erupted into giggles. Honing my sense of hearing as only mothers can, I hear the girls teasing Marty because he had put his pants on backwards getting dressed in the morning and had been wearing them backwards all day. Now, this was not mean “ha-ha” teasing but rather the girls pointing at Marty’s pants, Marty wagging his behind at them and then everyone falling down laughing. Then repeat as necessary. I heard the girls exclaim over and over, “the fly is on your dupa!” (dupa = butt).

Dinner proceeded without any other events and then later at bedtime, I reminded Marty to make sure his pants were on the right way in the morning. As he undressed he kept looking over his shorts turning them over and over.

Me: Whets the matter?
Marty: I am looking for the bug.
Me: What bug?
Marty: MarySarah (always stated as a unit) said that there was a bug on my pants.
Me: (realization dawning) No, sweetie, your zipper was on your dupa because your pants were backwards. Your zipper is also called a "fly".
Marty: Oh, I thought they meant for real.

I can’t help but think of the other idioms he may have issues with until he gets older:

On the fly
Fly ball
Cost an arm and a leg
Break a leg
Drive me up the wall
Hit the Books (or the sack)
Hold your Horses
Kick the Bucket
No room to swing a cat
On the fence
Pick up your ears
Put a sock in it
Raining cats and dogs
Smell a rat
Spitting image
Smell something fishy
Till the cows come home
Wag the dog
When pigs fly
You are what you eat