I have been saving this one…
Sarah comes in while I am getting ready for work and says that one of the boys at the daycare was calling her names the day before. The boy in question is a little older than the girls, maybe twelve, and the source of many reports of teasing.
“Well, what did he call you?”
“He called me a lesbian.” (Now, Sarah does not sound upset or offended at this.)
“I’m sorry, what?”
“He called me a lesbian.” Slight pause…
“Mommy, are lesbians real?”
At this point Sarah is looking at me as if she is asking about a magical creature only imaginable in fairy tales and I swear to you that I was so close to saying:
“No sweetie, they come from the magical land of Unicorns and Leprechauns”
So now at my office, we just shout “Leprechauns and Lesbians” as an exclamation.
For those of you concerned at the sexual overtones of the teasing, I did speak with the teachers and director of the daycare regarding the use of such terms. I did not feel up to actually discussing with Sarah the true meaning of the word, not that she asked me. Phew!
Thursday, March 17, 2011
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Slammin' Hot Nuts!
Sorry it has been awhile but I saved up a couple of good ones…
Slammin: I put Scrabble Slam on the kids’ Christmas wish list. I thought it would be a great game, right? Work on the kids spelling? Have fun? Right? So here is how the first round went...
TOOL
POOL
POOP
POOT
TOOT
Yeah, I think my kids new how to spell POOP without anyone shelling out $19.99.
Hot: I had just gotten out of bed when Marty came in and gave me a hug. The boy has a seriously distorted perception of temperature; he only takes cold showers because he doesn’t like the “hot” water. Anyway, he gives me a hug and says, “you’re hot”. I tickled him and then he says: “Get away from me, you hotter!”
Me: “No honey, that hottie, not hotter”
Marty: “You… are a real Hottie!”
Nuts: During a Saturday lunch, Marty wants to know what the ingredients are in the Honey Mustard dip for his chicken. Figuring it was pretty self explanatory I read the label out loud. As soon as I am done, Sarah cuts in with:
S: Phew! I was worried that there were nuts in there!
Me: Why?
S: My friend Robbie is allergic to nuts, he can’t have any.
I already knew this and considering that Robbie was not having lunch with us, I wasn’t sure why she was suddenly so concerned. I must have looked confused or worried because she suddenly has a very sincere look on her face and she tries to assure me:
S: Not the private parts (pointing down to her lap), the eatable kind…
I swear if she had even the slightest hint of sarcasm in her voice, I would have taken her to task but she was absolutely serious.
Slammin: I put Scrabble Slam on the kids’ Christmas wish list. I thought it would be a great game, right? Work on the kids spelling? Have fun? Right? So here is how the first round went...
TOOL
POOL
POOP
POOT
TOOT
Yeah, I think my kids new how to spell POOP without anyone shelling out $19.99.
Hot: I had just gotten out of bed when Marty came in and gave me a hug. The boy has a seriously distorted perception of temperature; he only takes cold showers because he doesn’t like the “hot” water. Anyway, he gives me a hug and says, “you’re hot”. I tickled him and then he says: “Get away from me, you hotter!”
Me: “No honey, that hottie, not hotter”
Marty: “You… are a real Hottie!”
Nuts: During a Saturday lunch, Marty wants to know what the ingredients are in the Honey Mustard dip for his chicken. Figuring it was pretty self explanatory I read the label out loud. As soon as I am done, Sarah cuts in with:
S: Phew! I was worried that there were nuts in there!
Me: Why?
S: My friend Robbie is allergic to nuts, he can’t have any.
I already knew this and considering that Robbie was not having lunch with us, I wasn’t sure why she was suddenly so concerned. I must have looked confused or worried because she suddenly has a very sincere look on her face and she tries to assure me:
S: Not the private parts (pointing down to her lap), the eatable kind…
I swear if she had even the slightest hint of sarcasm in her voice, I would have taken her to task but she was absolutely serious.
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Thanksgiving Holiday Highlights
Well, there were many adventures during our Thanksgiving Holiday. For the sake of all our sanity let’s skip the details of the drive from Virginia to St. Louis, MO via Indianapolis to see family. Paul’s tolerance for the “mommy, mommy, mommy” from the backseat always seem to wear out about two minutes before mine did but he was doing all the driving so that’s ok.
We had a wonderful visit with family in Indianapolis and St. Louis and we actually did some new stuff in St. Louis even though I have been visiting there since childhood. We went to the City Museum for the first time and it was totally cool! It is a huge building (an old warehouse or factory) that has been completely redone on the inside with recycled materials from other factories that have been shut down. Apparently the builder/designer was collecting this stuff for decades! The stair spindles are old conveyor belt rollers and some of the newel posts are old acetylene welding tanks. There is a mass of rebar, tiled mosaic floors with dragons and turtles, tunnels and slides. The ceiling in one room is a wire mesh upon which shredded silk material has been sewn. There is a bank vault door, a human sized hamster wheel, and an indoor skate park. We did not even go into the aquarium or on the roof, there was too much to see in one day! Oh, and did I mention the indoor 10 story slide made from old chutes in a shoe factory? Awesome! I have added a new flicker bar on the right side of the blog and have included some of the better pictures.
One of the other highlights was a family gathering on Friday night before we left. One in which my husband and Chris, my cousin-in-law, spent the evening trying to get Chris’ four year old daughter to say, “Fork & Spoon”. Of course, since I have promised to spell things phonetically, it comes out “fokin spoon”, “fawkin spoon”, or even “fuckin spoon”. So every now and then you would hear one of the guys say, “hey Claire, what’s this?” while holding up the aforementioned cutlery. My friend Lisa and I have decided to name our first bar, “The Fork & Spoon” which would be right next door to our bakery, “That Place With the Stuff”.
We had a wonderful visit with family in Indianapolis and St. Louis and we actually did some new stuff in St. Louis even though I have been visiting there since childhood. We went to the City Museum for the first time and it was totally cool! It is a huge building (an old warehouse or factory) that has been completely redone on the inside with recycled materials from other factories that have been shut down. Apparently the builder/designer was collecting this stuff for decades! The stair spindles are old conveyor belt rollers and some of the newel posts are old acetylene welding tanks. There is a mass of rebar, tiled mosaic floors with dragons and turtles, tunnels and slides. The ceiling in one room is a wire mesh upon which shredded silk material has been sewn. There is a bank vault door, a human sized hamster wheel, and an indoor skate park. We did not even go into the aquarium or on the roof, there was too much to see in one day! Oh, and did I mention the indoor 10 story slide made from old chutes in a shoe factory? Awesome! I have added a new flicker bar on the right side of the blog and have included some of the better pictures.
One of the other highlights was a family gathering on Friday night before we left. One in which my husband and Chris, my cousin-in-law, spent the evening trying to get Chris’ four year old daughter to say, “Fork & Spoon”. Of course, since I have promised to spell things phonetically, it comes out “fokin spoon”, “fawkin spoon”, or even “fuckin spoon”. So every now and then you would hear one of the guys say, “hey Claire, what’s this?” while holding up the aforementioned cutlery. My friend Lisa and I have decided to name our first bar, “The Fork & Spoon” which would be right next door to our bakery, “That Place With the Stuff”.
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